She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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