The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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