I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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