Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
