Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
