Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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