didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
