I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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