go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You are the jesus of drinking
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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