Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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