Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am midnight drunk by noon
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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