My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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