when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i think my cat just said my name.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
