I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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