it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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