yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
