dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
