Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize