i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
