my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize