i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
