I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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