After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
