And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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