you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
