They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
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so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
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God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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