yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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