Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
