Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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