wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
