Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
