she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
