yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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