I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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