So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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