Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
