We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
