i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
