My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
