there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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