Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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