She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Even my vagina gasped.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
