i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There r osticjed everywhere
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize