Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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