maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You need a sexual gate keeper
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
