Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize