So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize