If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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