one two three fourrrrnication!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
