You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize