How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
