WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
