It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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