the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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