I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
