come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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