my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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