Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize